How many times have you played, "What if?" Who hasn’t played,
"What if I had enough money to give my children all they ever need. If I
had enough to buy a mansion and cars for our family, nieces, nephews, brothers,
sisters, aunts and uncle's. Then had enough to be an entrepreneur to heal
others."
Well, last Spring, I had the unfortunate occasion to play the,
"What If?" Only I played, "What if I become paralyzed?" It
wasn't exactly a game. I was faced with the issue. Any wrong move before I had
surgery could become the fact. Thought's of what my family would be required to
do was overwhelming. As it was, we didn't fare very well, my husband and I. We
became overwhelmed with the responsibility.
I thought my faith was stronger than at that time. I became devastated.
I thought of the worst-case scenario. I was surprised at my lack of faith.
However, I prayed that I would not be, and I was not paralyzed. The Physicians
Assistant said I could be. I am still faced with the idea that any day I can
pop my back out of place and I could become paralyzed.
Faith is a strange thing. We can think we are strong then fail. Maybe we
think too much of ourselves. We think, "I am strong!" or "I can
handle this situation!" NOT without God. God is the strength by which we face
daily lives. God is the sustenance
that holds the pieces of our lives together.
We forget to ask as Solomon did, "Give me wisdom." or as
Sampson did, "Give me strength." We forget to ask for that,
"faith to move mountains."
We can dream of enough "money" to sustain us and our family
and friends. We ask, "Lord give me "faith" to sustain my husband
and me, not only in times of despair but daily tasks. Give me strength to take
care of my needs and my husbands needs."
It requires "reigning in our vain imaginations" and "taking
captive our negative thoughts" as Paul admonishes us to do.
As it turned out the Lord was gracious to me and healed me byAugust of this summer. With faith and a lot of people prayers for me, and with the knowledge God imparted to doctors I was able to be healed surgically. I am doing well and will take more time to decide what are the most important activities (and work) to accomplish each day. Taking care of my body as well as my soul.
(NIV 2 Corinthians 10:5b…"we take captive every thought and make it
obedient to Christ.")
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